Today I want to write about change – how it arrives, how it affects us, and how we can learn to navigate it with more clarity and compassion. I will describe some particularities of change, speak about different types of transitions, and share my perspective on how we might cope with them within the broader context of our life stories.
How change shows up in our lives
Life is never a neat, linear sequence of events. It unfolds, shifts, interrupts itself, and surprises us. Change is woven into every life story. How we respond to it often depends on our temperament, previous experiences and the coping mechanisms we have learned along the way.
Some people grow towards change naturally, even seek it. Others value stability and feel unsettled when something shifts. Yet change is unavoidable. We see it in nature, in the seasons, in our relationships, in our bodies, and in our inner landscapes. Even when we welcome a change, we may still develop expectations about how it should look or feel – and reality rarely behaves according to our scripts. The unpredictable aspect of change can make us uncomfortable, especially when we hope for a particular outcome or fear losing control.
Types of changes
Voluntary changes include all those we actively choose – changing jobs, relocating, ending or beginning relationships, creating new friendships or adopting new routines. Involuntary changes, on the other hand, arrive without our consent. Losing a job, a person, a pet, a dream, or a sense of certainty can push us into uncomfortable emotional territory.
Change affects our emotions, our thoughts and the meaning we assign to events. We may feel overwhelmed, numb, depressed, hopeful, nostalgic or confused. Sometimes emotions appear in contradictory pairs – relief and sadness, gratitude and anger, clarity and fear. Many people feel guilty or “wrong” for experiencing complex reactions, believing they should respond in a neater, more “reasonable” way. But mixed emotions are a very human response to change.
Making changes tangible and visible
In my life story conversations and case consultations, I often begin by helping people express what a particular change is stirring within them. Change can feel abstract or shapeless, and giving it form – through words, images, metaphors or reflective dialogue – helps make it more communicable.
Once experiences are named or made visible, we can gently organise, reorder or contextualise them. This fragmentation and rearrangement often allows people to reassess their perceptions and create new, more empowering interpretations. Perspective shifts rarely happen in isolation. They grow in the presence of a safe relationship and a supportive conversation.
Dealing with involuntary changes
Sudden and unwanted changes can shake our foundations. Political unrest, war, a toxic work environment, family conflict or societal pressures may leave us feeling powerless. These changes often clash with our values or what we imagined for our lives.
Finding empowerment, meaning and agency during such times is difficult, yet deeply important. Rebuilding courage, energy and hope helps prevent us from falling into resignation or self-blame. While this is easier said than done, outside support provides grounding, structure and companionship in the midst of upheaval.
Common changes that go unnoticed or unacknowledged
In my work with clients, I often see how people seek mentoring or consultation when they’re facing a transition that affects their identity. These shifts can be personal or professional, expected or long awaited, sudden or slow. Pregnancy, parenthood, separation, migration, bereavement, changes in work responsibilities, diagnoses, chronic illness, accidents or promotions – all can reshape how we understand ourselves and how we locate ourselves in the world.
These transitions carry emotional weight. They influence how we see our roles, our relationships and our possibilities.
The need for rituals and transition periods
Many changes unfold gradually, and when we don’t consciously process them, they can build up as frustration, tension or confusion. Modern society offers fewer shared rituals or community spaces that help us navigate transitions. While celebrations, funerals, weddings or reveal parties exist, they are often brief moments rather than supported, meaningful processes.
Rituals – formal or informal, individual or collective – help us regulate emotions, create a sense of structure and acknowledge the significance of what is changing. Without these rituals or transition periods, many people feel left to manage the before-and-after entirely on their own.
How narrative mentoring and art-informed consultation support this process
A large part of my work as a therapist, mentor and consultant is to accompany people through these transitional phases. In narrative mentoring sessions (life story conversations), we explore how a change fits within the broader story of a person’s life – where it came from, what it touches, what it asks for, and what it might open up.
In case consultations, I bring an outside, reflective perspective to the links between change, emotion and meaning. I often integrate narrative therapy practices with gentle art-based processes – watercolours, collaging, symbolic visual anchors or reflective writing – to help people slow down, see their experiences more clearly and discover new language for what feels difficult or unclear. These conversations and creative approaches help people make sense of transitions, strengthen inner resources and reclaim agency in moments where life feels disrupted. It is not about fixing or forcing change, but about honouring it, understanding its place in the story and finding a way to move forward with more softness and clarity.
If you feel you’re navigating a change and could use a companion in making sense of it, you are warmly welcome to reach out.
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